How I Got Out Of A Slump

I thought that, a few weeks ago, my slump was over. That I was ready to face the world again, stronger than ever. That I was finally free of my demons. Little did I know, things would get worse before they got better. This weekend was, hands down, the worst two days of my entire semester. One of my best friends moved away, I was working a 48-hour duty shift, and needless to say, during exam season, all of these things added together did not make for a healthy and relaxing weekend. My anxiety skyrocketed, I had an extremely low self-image, and I hit lower than what I had previously thought to be “rock bottom” before things started looking up. Now, two days after my shift, after some friends pulled me out of bed, I can say that my slump is over (for now, because mental illness, unfortunately, doesn’t give you a break just because you are tired, and there will be a "next time"). When I was in that slump, I couldn’t think of anything to pull me out of it. But now, looking back, here’s what helped:

1. Talking about it. Have you ever worked a problem up to be so big in your head, but when you verbalize it, it seems a lot more manageable? Talking to someone about what I’m going through makes me feel more in control and a lot less confused. This person can be anyone – for me, it’s usually a friend, but I’ve also spoken to doctors, psychologists, and the many supports I have in my network as an RA. I also have several friends who have had similar experiences to me, and talking to people who “get it” is the best. It makes me feel less alone, and when you hear “oh yeah, I thought I was making that up too”, you feel a lot better. Sometimes, all you need is validation.

2. Accepting it. The worst feeling is when you can’t control what is happening, or how you are feeling. But that’s the thing… you can’t. Your emotions are fluid, and you wouldn’t try to steer a river. Ride it out, because all feelings will pass. Recognizing that I need to let myself be sad when I’m sad, or lie in bed all day if I’m just not feeling it, oddly enough, helps.

3. Listening to an awesome playlist. For me this week, that was the French artist Louane. I started listening to her song “Avenir”, and let the abyss that is YouTube carry on from there. Madeleine Merlo’s “War Paint” is also known to get me out of a bad place – I’ll blast it in the morning while I’m braiding my hair or doing my makeup. Those five minutes of self-care are sometimes all I need to put a smile to my face to start off my day.

4. Reading. Anything and everything. I like to read online articles on The Mighty, which help me feel less alone, and like my story matters to people. I read what the brilliant and inspiring other WYL Campus Reps write for their blog posts, and those always make my day a little brighter. I’ll also read workbooks on the Centre for Clinical Interventions website. My psychologist brought this website to my attention last year, and it has been so helpful and I genuinely enjoy reading its information. It's super accessible, and easy to understand if you don't have a psych degree (something that I had had trouble finding before). I find everything mental health/illness related so interesting, and have read just about all the information that the CCI has - about illnesses that I don’t even have myself. I just think the more educated I can be, the better. Plus, I like to understand why I feel the way I feel. If I can understand a little better what I’m going through, or my physical symptoms, even, I’ll feel a lot better.

5. Puppy videos. Enough said.

6. Looking up body-positive Instagram accounts. These radiant people help me own who I am, and feel worthy even when the only thing I want to do is self-destruct. My favourites are @bodyposipanda @nourishandeat and @iamiskra. @nakedwithanxiety isn’t part of the body positive community, but I love absolutely everything she posts as well. Surrounding myself with positive social media through people such as these women has changed how I view my life in general.

7. Giving my body what it needs. If I’m hungry, I’ll eat. If I’m tired, I’ll sleep longer. If I really just don’t feel like doing anything, or I need to cry, I let myself do it. I realized a while ago that my body is so much smarter than I am. It’s the way it is because of so much evolution, and how on earth can I compete with all of that biologically-programmed wisdom from my mere 20 years on the planet? I have to trust that it knows what it needs, because the human body has been around for longer than I have. I have to trust that it knows how to keep me alive and safe, and at my healthiest. Because it fights for me every single day. I think it’s so incredible, and this thought was especially cemented when I learned why my hands and feet go numb when I’m super anxious. When I’m really anxious, something or someone has activated my body’s natural fight-or-flight response. Sensing danger, my body tries to protect the most vital parts of me (my internal organs), so the amount of blood it supplies to my hands and feet is lessened. How cool is that?! My body is literally fighting to keep me alive without me even having to think about anything, and making the choice as to what parts of me need help at any given moment.

Above all, if you are in a slump, you’ve got this. You are no less worthy because you aren’t having a good time. If your slump lasts into the holidays, that’s okay too. Try not to feel guilty, and remember that just because you might not be having a “typical holiday season” or “’normal’ university experience” doesn’t mean you can’t be learning and growing as a person each and every day.