I’ve been thinking a lot about Netflix’s newest movie To The Bone, which was just released this morning. This film has sparked many debates, mostly centred around how it could be triggering, and how it only displays the stereotypical white/cis-gendered/young/thin/female narrative of eating disorders, which may cause others to invalidate their own struggles, and feel like that is what metaphorical box they must fall into in order to deserve treatment and care. I get that. I really do. But I also think that this film might not be such a bad thing. I was hesitant to write about this because of its controversy, and I recognize that my opinion might differ from yours. That’s totally okay. I watched the first half-hour of the movie this morning while getting ready for work, and while my opinions could change, here are my initial thoughts.
When I first heard about To The Bone, I was angry. I was angry that it was a narrative that would show that stereotypical skinny-white-girl eating disorder. But, I realized that this movie would never be perfect. It would never be exactly what I wanted to see unless I created it myself. Then I realized, this film wasn’t created by a rich white man sitting in a corporate office wanting to make money off of eating disorders. It was created by someone who has been there. It was created by two strong women, recovered from their own eating disorders, looking to tell their own stories, and portray the reality of eating disorders as they see it. The reality is, everyone’s eating disorder is different. It is impossible to tell the “real” story of eating disorders because there are millions and millions of eating disorder stories, all unique and each one very different from the next. I think that, yes, we need to tell multiple eating disorder narratives. But I also think that we need to start with one. We need society to have a basic understanding of one illness before we can inform them of another. More than anything, I want society to understand the complexities of eating disorders and other heavily-stigmatized mental illnesses, but I also recognize that most people are not as educated about these illnesses as I am. We need to give them a base knowledge so that they can catch up, and be knowledgeable enough to be a part of the discussion. I hope that Ellen’s story make them want to seek out more information.
By now, I’ve written many times about the “sick enough” stigma surrounding mental health and mental illness. I obviously don’t want anyone to feel like their illness isn’t valid, or that they aren’t deserving of support or care. I, myself, thought I wasn't "sick enough" many times, because the media often portrays things very differently than how I personally experienced my own challenges. However, I do still think that To The Bone is a good thing. When I first watched the trailer, I totally understood that it could be deeply triggering to someone struggling with disordered eating. However, as a theatre student, and someone who’s been training in a variety of capacities for performance, I understand why they made the trailer in this way. I know it could be triggering, and I wish that there had been some trigger warning or something for the trailer, but it does catch people’s attention. The very fact that so much debate has come out of this trailer means that it did its job well. I especially found the voice-over, repeating “I’ve got it under control”, both chilling and captivating. I think it gave potential audience members just enough of an insight into what the movie would be about to make it effective. Was it good marketing in terms of supporting eating disorder recovery? Absolutely not. Was it good marketing to sell a movie? Yes.
I know, I know. The media should not profit off of mental illness. I truly believe that. My opinion on that has never changed, and it never will. However, I believe that the intentions of this film are good. I need to concede that we need the media to get our stories across. We do need newspapers, social media accounts, blogs, movies, videos – things that were created to profit off of stories – to share them with the world. I recognize that this sucks, but “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em”. Sometimes you need to use the resources that are available to you, even if you wish there were better ones. People are still going to use social media, watch movies, and read the newspaper. And they will pay for these things. I don’t know… maybe if someone’s intentions are not to make money, but to share a story through these means, it’s not such a bad thing? I’m still trying to figure that one out.
I don’t think this is another 13 Reasons Why. While that series, too, sparked important conversations, I believe it glamourized mental health challenges, in many ways, more than To The Bone does. I actually found watching 13 Reasons Why incredibly triggering for me at the time. I appreciate the conversations it sparked, but ultimately, for my own recovery I probably should not have watched it. I don't feel the same way about To The Bone. Creating an eating-disorder-centred film is no simple task, and there will absolutely be backlash. However, to give the filmmakers and production team credit, I do think that they show the realities of this particular illness. They do show the unhappiness, the thinning hair, and the medical tests. In my opinion, they don’t glamourize the illness, yet the film does have optimistic moments, and a positive ending. In 13 Reasons Why, the protagonist lost her fight. To The Bone’s Ellen does not. The film shows that recovery is possible, and I appreciate that. Already, in the first half-hour of the film, I am impressed with how much subtext and emotional power the actors and creative team were able to bring forward. Already, the film has shown the discomfort, the awkwardness, the love, the support, the challenges, the triumphs, and the mixed feelings surrounding someone in eating disorder recovery. It has shown parents with good intentions falling short of the supportive role they are trying to fill. I do think this film will make people think about how they speak to those who might be struggling with an eating disorder, and I do think it’s a good way to carry across messages that eating disorder survivors may not have the words to explain to those they care about.
To The Bone begins with an on-screen trigger warning, before any of the logos of partners or contributors appear, which I appreciated. It was also created by a writer and actress who have both struggled with anorexia nervosa, themselves. It makes sense to me, then, that they would create a film to emulate their own experiences. I don’t think that anyone watching To The Bone will walk away from it with a glamourized image of eating disorders. I really do think that the film portrays the all-consuming nature of the illness, and I was pleasantly surprised to see that, right away, it starts with showing how unhappy anorexia makes Ellen, and the others in her life.
Surprisingly enough, I actually quite like this film. Is it a movie that could negatively impact someone’s eating disorder recovery? Yes. But it was not written for those in recovery. It wasn’t written to help someone heal. While I hope more than anything that there are films out there to help people with eating disorders stay strong in their path to recovery, this movie just wasn’t created for that purpose. It was written to give society in general a better understanding of what people with eating disorders might go through. It was written to challenge the traditional narratives of the media, like in popular shows such as Two Broke Girls, Miss Congeniality, heck, even Disney channel, whose content often glamourizes eating disorders, portraying them as a “hobby”, a “way to stay thin”, or almost an expectation (especially in Miss Congeniality and shows like Dance Academy). I think that, though it might not be the same story that 90% of people with eating disorders have experienced, there are at least some elements of Ellen’s story that can resonate with most people struggling with eating disorders. I think that the film successfully shows the anxiety, fear, confusion, and helplessness associated with those buried deep in their eating disorders.
I do have issues with the film, don’t get me wrong. I wish that Lily Collins hadn’t had to lose weight for it, I wish that people weren’t talking about how she lost it, and I wish that there wasn’t so much joking about calories at the beginning of the trailer… Although, honestly, I think that the general sentiment around this is important, because oftentimes people struggling with eating disorders will reach a certain point where they know something is causing them harm, or is obsessive, yet they still engage in the behaviour because it works. It’s a coping mechanism. So, sometimes, yes, people do make jokes about their own disorders. This “dark” kind of humour, as Marti Noxon puts it, is one that “people close to the disorder will understand”. I wish that they had spent more time emphasizing that men have eating disorders, that people of colour have eating disorders, that fat people have eating disorders (and not just binge eating disorder), that middle-aged people have eating disorders. I wish they showed the wide variety of eating disorders, and that they validated that eating disorder not otherwise specified (EDNOS)/other specified feeding and eating disorder (OSFED) are valid disorders, and can also be life-threatening. I get that the very nature of eating disorders means that competition and comparison are at the centre of an individual’s illness. And the last thing I would want is for an individual’s recovery to be impeded by this film. But, frankly, triggers are everywhere in our diet-centric society, from social media, to magazines, to calorie counts on menus. I don’t support adding to these triggers, but I do think that recovery involves an ongoing discussion between someone in eating disorder recovery and their treatment team on how to manage these triggers. As with anything, learning to face triggers is an important part of the recovery process, and while this film may trigger some, I do hope that those still in the throes of their eating disorder would refrain from watching it, or discuss it with their treatment team if they chose to do so.
All of this being said, I haven’t finished the film; I’m not even halfway through it. I hope that their group therapy sessions contain a more diverse group of men and women. I really do. But so far, I think that if I closed my eyes and listened to it, the way the film portrays the mental side of this mental illness seems pretty powerful. In a perfect world, this movie could follow Ellen’s story with a thin and emaciated Ellen (because this is the reality for some), a “normal” weight Ellen, and a fat Ellen. In a perfect world the story would follow a Kevin, a Kyle, and a Jim. It would follow trans women and men, the elderly, and all the marginalized eating disorder stories that so often remain untold. But, I think this film is a start. And I’m excited that conversations around the reality of eating disorders might come out of this.
If you have any strong opinions about To The Bone, let me know. I’m super interested to hear what you have to say. I know that it’s imperfect. But if there is anything I’ve learned over my own experience navigating mental illness, and my experiences in theatre, there is so much power in portraying the mindset of someone who is struggling. To show someone, not tell them your symptoms. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wished there were words to explain how I was feeling. If anyone can learn even a little bit about eating disorders from this film, I think it will have done its job. This conversation is far from over, but I do think that this is a start. I personally don’t have a story that mirrors Ellen’s, but I still feel like I can take something from it. Maybe others can too.
To anyone in recovery from an eating disorder, you’re a warrior. Even if your story isn’t like Ellen’s, it is valid. I hope that you, or someone in your life, can take something from Ellen’s story, whether that’s a “me too” moment, or a conversation starter. I see you, I hear you, and I’m proud of you and your
story.
Ally
