Hey love,
Do you ever just sit in the driver’s seat of your car, daydreaming? On your walk home, do you ever wonder what your impact on the world is going to be? In the middle of class or work, does your mind drift off to visions of the future, and what life will look like 5 years from now? Me too. If you’re a student, you’ve probably wondered time and time again what this scary thing called *the future* holds. You’re probably trying to find your place in this world, and figure out where you can find your voice. If you’re a perpetual overachiever, if you’re too hard on yourself, or if you have perfectionist tendencies like I do, it can be even harder. Time and time again, I’ve found myself stuck. I’ve felt lost, confused, and have been brought to tears by the “what do you want to do after you graduate?” question. I want to make an impact. I want to leave the world better than ever before. I want to change lives. Choosing a career path that will let me do that? Holy heck, I have no idea how to do that! I don’t even know if that job even exists. But listen up, friend! This is what I’ve learned: you can make an impact in the future, yes. But chances are, you already do.
I believe in changing the world. I believe that small voices can start big conversations and move mountains. In a world that is becoming increasingly interconnected, I believe that this is more possible than ever before. But I also know that this thought is scary. Again, how the heck am I supposed to do that? I want you to do something for me. I want you to take a step back from *the future*, and focus on the “now”. Who do you surround yourself with? Think about how your friends see you. Think about all of the incredible ways you have been impacting their lives and their growth, even just in these past few months. Now, consider this. What does “making your mark” mean to you? Is it impacting the world? Is it changing the lives of people in your town, or your campus? Is it changing one life? I think that all of these are possible, and this might not be the answer you’re looking for, but I don’t think that there’s one *right* way to do this.
Looking back, I think I know why I’ve been so confused about the future. I’ve never seen myself in a *traditional* career path. I never really wanted the doctor-teacher-lawyer path of life. These are all incredible jobs, and doctors, teachers, and lawyers are some of the most impactful people I know. But time and time again I’d find myself looking for more alternative things. I found myself researching careers from dramatherapy to paramedicine to zoology to editing to publishing to dramaturgy to entrepreneurship. Some of these options weighing on my mind changed when I developed my anxiety disorder, but something that has never changed is that I can’t see myself in an office. I can’t see myself wearing business attire, walking down the street in my high heels to my corporate job in the downtown core. I wish I could, honestly. I think there’s comfort in routine. I think that there’s comfort in stability, and the organization that a traditional, stable job can give you. I do want to go to grad school, to get more qualified, and yes, currently I do hope to pursue occupational therapy. But even then, I don’t want to work in a hospital, or a private practice. I want to find a way to turn the conventional unconventional. I want to offer the world something that’s never been there before, with the qualifications that I have. Quite literally, the job I can picture myself in doesn’t exist yet. That’s terrifying. But it’s also okay.
To the person who just wants to make their mark on the world, it’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to be confused, and it’s okay not to know what you want. It’s okay to wonder what two or three letters after your name will get you, it’s okay to be unsure of what programme you are in (I’ve switched my major 4 times). And it’s super okay to pursue something you love even if those who love you aren’t entirely sure about it. Chances are, they just want the best for you, and they want you to be able to support yourself. I truly believe that you can do this with any job, though, as long as you’re creative and passionate. And if you don’t know what you want? That’s okay too.
Let me ask you another question. What matters to you? This can be anything from having an extreme passion for bagels to wanting to cure cancer. Whatever matters to you, focus on it, and find a way to pursue it. I’m also the type of person who could never imagine herself in one job for the rest of her life. If you love bagels, and want to open a bagel shop, go for it! If you decide 2 years later that you want to study nursing and work at the QEII? Great – you do you. There’s no wrong way to live your life, as long as you’re doing something that makes you happy. I’m still convinced that I’ll open a café at some point in my life, but I also know I want to help people in their recovery, work in mental health, and write. And I’m not giving up on any of these dreams. You don’t have to give up on any of yours either. There's no rule book to life. There's no instruction manual. While that's slightly terrifying, it's also incredibly exciting.
Sometimes I worry that I’m choosing the wrong thing. I worry that whatever I choose to do with my life, I won’t be “living up to my potential”. But I realized that I can’t be disappointed in myself as long as I give my all to everything I set my mind to. I know I’ll be happy as long as I keep busy, work with good people, and am doing something that fulfills me. There might be a dozen different ways I want to help someone, but I’m one person. If you think that several different things could make you happy, pick one, and go for it. It doesn’t mean that you have to abandon your other dreams. Put them on the back burner, and you can totally come back to them.
Hear me out for a second. You are making an impact. Right now. There are so many opportunities that the world places in front of you every single day. I find that I’m so often blind to all the possibilities in front of me because I am trying so hard to find the “perfect” one. Listen. You are kind, you are strong, you are capable, smart, brave, and every nice thing I can think of. You have a voice. You can make an impact in the future no matter what you do. Because, at the end of the day, I think the real difference is made when you connect with people. And you’re doing that every single day. You’re doing it right now, reading these words. Sometimes, it’s overwhelming to think of the “big picture”, or to think of everything as either black or white, successful or not. Instead, try focusing on the impacts that you want to make each day, and on the little things. On the impressions that you want to leave people with. I guarantee that if you aren’t already changing the whole world, you are changing someone’s. You’re changing your parents’ world. You’re changing the lives of your siblings, your friends, your mentors, and those who look up to you. You’re changing the life of the girl who you help talk through a tough time, the friend who just really needs someone to listen. I can tell you that many people have changed my whole world and helped me get better. The people who have walked me home when I’m afraid, who have held my hands while I’ve had panic attacks, who have told me that I'm safe when I felt like anything but, given me "tough love" when I needed it, or made me laugh when all I wanted to do was implode… these people changed my world, and I know they’ll change society someday. And that’s amazing. We tend to undervalue and underestimate the incredible impact we can have by doing even the smallest things. I think it’s so exciting to imagine how one positive conversation, and making someone feel heard, can change their day around. How one conversation can inspire someone to follow their dreams. You might not always know what conversations you’ll start that someone else needs, but I still think it’s super exciting to imagine all the ways someone is more confident or happier because of something you may have said, or an experience you may have had.
The point is, we’re all just human beans trying our best. We’re all trying to figure it out. Think of how you would treat your best friend, and try to treat yourself the same way. If you wouldn’t say something to them, don’t say it to yourself. To the person who just wants to make their mark on the world: you will. You will without even having to try so hard. Take time, because it’s yours. When you wake up each morning, ask yourself what is going to fulfill you that day. Who do you want to connect with? What do you want to learn that day? How can you make the world just a little bit brighter than it was 24 hours ago? One day at a time. The world isn’t so scary when you’re just trying to make yourself and those around you feel the sparkle that they’ve always had within them. You have so much time to make your mark on the world. But, my goodness, just look at how far you’ve come.
To the person who just wants to make their mark on the world, you are so incredibly enough. It is unbelievable how enough you are. Everyone else can see it. I hope one day you can too.
From one person who “gets it” to another,
Ally
